Is there any software which can tell me my java needs updating? Its a pain checking all the time lol

Control Panel > Java > somewhere around the UI should have an automatically check for updates box.

Correct, its Control Panel>Java, click the update tab, tick the 'Check for updates automatically' click ok and you're done.
Personally I have no problems NOT having it checking for updates, as soon as I visit a site that needs a newer version it soon lets me know then I update it (plus its one less unnecessary thing running at startup).

I'm with JDPower on this one. If you tick the 'Check for updates automatically' doesn't it then load in your start-up thus resulting in memory being allocated for the program?

I have my check set for once a week which is the default and there is no application nor memory allocated for the program.

The way it works, I believe, is that at the prescribed time the check for the update is done and if an update is required then either the user is informed or the update is applied.

Don't forget to uninstall the old Java version once you update. Otherwise you are still vulnerable.